7 posts tagged “relationships”
On television, in shows such as "Perry Mason" and "Ironside," Raymond Burr ferreted out the secrets of others. Off screen, he had secrets of his own to hide, include a love of fine wine and orchids he shared with his partner of 35 years -- the less successful thespian Robert Benevides. That career-damning relationship was hidden by the creation of deceased wife and children, according to the new biography, Hiding in Plain Sight.
That both people find a mutually agreeable between the sharing and keeping of secrets is a relationship key. For example, a wife may not actually want to know that a husband is looking for momentary sexual comfort. And a husband may (for whatever reason) prefer not to know that his wife doesn't actually work at the neighborhood shop where she supposedly earns her spare change. But if they haven't agreed on what to tell each other and what to keep hidden you can only suppose it will end badly -- as it did -- when the husband visits the brothel where his wife works.
On a few levels, your relationship should probably be questioned if you need to be prompted not to (No. 9 of 10 Secrets You Must Never Tell) confess to sexually cheating while your partner was away. Perhaps you should refer to the alpha secret: don't do anything you need to be ashamed of and your burden of secrets will be soooooooooooooo much lighter.
Chief prophet of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Warren Jeffs, has a vision that virtuous men should have three wives. So, his secretive sect kicks out boys for wanting to keep boy-type secrets. And that improves the sect's mares to studs ratio. Although, since Jeffs is on trial for using his status to pressure a 14-year-old to marry and have sex with a cousin when she didn't want to, it appears that outing secret holders to maintain your own secrets might not be a panacea for what ails Jeffs and his followers.
The shark of infidelity or the piranhas of tiny lies. The shark probably kills faster, but which way of cheating instead of committing is more harmful to a relationship? Does it matter when the relationship has died? Of course, by the time a couple gets to arguing on who is to blame it's probably all over but the shouting.
Sex. Money. Does keeping secrets from a spouse lead to peace by varnishing a foundation or send a relationship in the opposite direction by grinding away at it? Does it matter if they are big secrets (an affair) or small (the cost of a present)? It probably all depends on how important the relationship is to the people involved.
British scientists claim to have tested the difference in men and women who break up. They found women generally suffer more, but only the individual can know how unbearable the pain for him or her.
